SUPER FANTASTICO MUY BUENO NARUTO EPIC!
by katielyne
Summary: Naruto love story gone wrong! ... Or awesome? Anyways, I know Ch.1 may seem kinda stupid but that's only because it was a spur of the moment random addition to what my friend was trying to write. Following chapters are guaranteed to be stupid
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:**_Yeah... Well, I know I really suck at writing, but I'm back to share my ramblings......_

**_Yes I know what your thinking, she's Masashi Kishimoto!!! Well, it is my duty _**_(geheheh, I said duty)_**_ to inform you that I am not, and have no intention to somehow kidnap him and make him put meh in his manga....... Where'd 'ya get a crazy idea like that -shifty eyes-_**

"I love you Toiro." Kankuro looked into her blue eyes lovingly.

"I- I love you too, but- I-" she didn't want to leave.

"What?"

"Well, I'm leaving tomorrow... And I don't want to fall even more in love with you, that would make me miss you even more." Tears welling up in her eyes.

"You didn't listen to my brother, did you?" He smirked.

"What do you mean?" She looked up at him hopefully.

"Well, one, I'll be escorting you to Konohagakure, and two, he said you could come anytime. So I expect at least one visit every 2 months and a letter every week, AT LEAST... And if you don't follow my rules, I'll have to come there myself" He winked.

The thought made her giggle- Kankuro barging through the gates shaking down anyone his sees to find her.

"I think that would be nice... Maybe I won't keep in contact, just for the hell of it!"

"Oh, no you won't!" Kankuro tackled her down and they were both laughing.

She lifted her head to meet his, and kissed him.

"We should get some rest, huh?"

"GET AWAY FROM YOU CHILD MALESTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Wait what?

You heard me! I said leave and never come back!!!!!

FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never loved you anyways!!!

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!!!!!!

… WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!

I DON'T KNOW! I JUST SAY WHAT THE AUTHOR TELLS ME TO SAY!!!!!11!!!!

WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?

I'M NOT SURE!!

OH... UH... OK.

WAIT I THOUGHT WE WERE STILL ANGRY!!

I'M TOO TIRED TO CARE...

WHATEVER.

WELL... WHAT NOW?

UH... WE COULD GO GET SOME COFFEE.

BUT I HATE COFFEE. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

YOU KNOW WHAT!?! I'M SICK OF YOU AND YOUR ENDLESS WHINING

SHUT UP!

YOU!

*random makeout scene*

...

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!?!11

Uh... I'm not really sure to be honest. I was bored...

*Toiro pulls out rifle and shoots Kankuro*

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!111!!1 AHAHAHA *cough* HA... HAHAHA. (END)


	2. Chapter 2

(IDEA: Toiro has to deal with covering up the homicide of Kankuro especially since a forensic ninja scientist is hired to evaluate the case... Gaara is suspicious but is too distracted by his new love and obsession of SASUKE!! ooh... those dreamy eyes... ah... Sasuke-kun I love you... OH! Oops I got carried away... ANYWAYS Temari decided to go to Africa to study the habits of... trees)

Sitting in Gaara's office, Toiro was staring intently at Gaara's face trying in vain to listen to what the sand ninja was saying but she was too busy searching his face for his nonexistent eyebrows.

"Uh... Hello? Are you even paying attention??" said Gaara with exasperation.

"If you want me to be honest then... No." said Toiro blankly.

Gaara sighed trying hard to rid himself of the desire to entomb Toiro with sand.

"Well I was just saying that I hired a forensic ninja scientist who is coming tomorrow to investigate Kankuro's homicide."

"Since when did ninja's need forensic scientists?? I thought we all just killed each other and nobody gave a crap. It was probably just one of those Akatsuki members." Toiro said.

"He was killed with a freaking bullet to the chest! That's not like a normal ninja..."

"Oh well..."

"Ya know... You're right... I have better things to do with my time then worry about my deceased brother... He always gave suckish Christmas presents anyways..."

"I'm glad you see things my way."

"Yeah well you can leave now... I uh... Have some personal business to attend to..."

"Um... Alrighty then..." Toiro said as she tuned to leave Gaara's office.

Watching Toiro's back receding in the distance Gaara turned to his secret cupboard and pushed aside the old sake bottles and retrieved his Sasuke plushie.

"Oh Sasuke-kun!! I'm so sorry I have to leave you in that nasty little cupboard!!1 But I promise I'll make it up to you." Gaara crooned as he held the doll close to his chest.

Giggling, Gaara skipped merrily back to his private chamber locking the door behind him...

Meanwhile, Toiro was resting on a boulder staring down at her feet trying to figure out a way to cover up the murder of Kankuro...

She wished she could talk to Temari but the idiot had left to go to Africa in the Sahara Desert to study trees and their habits...

Maybe she would send her a postcard later...

Toiro wasn't sure if there were post offices in the Sahara but she would try anyways...

Eventually she fell asleep still on the rock and woke up 9 hours later with a cat looking curiously at her face.

Startled, Toiro quickly pulled her rifle from out of her shoe and shot the cat several times.

When she was sure it was dead she began to leave when she saw Naruto walking towards her.

"How are you doing today Toiro? … Wait!!! Is that a rifle you're hold---"

Toiro raised the gun swiftly and fired 3 rounds in the orange idiot before he could even finish his sentence.

Sighing with relief, Toiro decided that the best thing to do now was to bury the evidence, so she dug a shallow grave and threw the cat and Naruto's body into the hole and buried it.

Now satisfied, she carefully concealed her gun and walked back to town.

Pushing through the crowded sidewalks of the town Toiro decided to head back to Gaara's office.

The office was darkened save for a light coming from a back room.

Toiro approached cautiously, not knowing what she'd find.

She peered inside the room and saw Gaara lying shirtless on a futon cuddling a Sasuke doll.

Frightened and deeply disturbed, Toiro quickly and quietly left the office trying hard to erase the image from her mind.

Focusing too hard on trying to clear her head, Toiro hardly even noticed when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Umm... Excuse me miss but uh... I need to speak to you for a moment on the subject of Kankuro's homicide." said the man who Toiro assumed was the forensic scientist that Gaara had hired.

"Oh uh... No problem..." Toiro stuttered.

The man nodded and motioned for her to follow him.

They walked in silence towards the nearby coffee shop.

Toiro's mind raced as she tried to construct a cover story and an alibi quickly.

The man gestured towards a table and Toiro sat down.

"Excuse me for not introducing myself earlier... My name is Dr. Kazamakaku."

"Hello Dr. Kazamakaku. So uh... What was it that you needed to talk to me about?"

"Well I'm going to be honest with you... We know who killed your friend Kankuro and we'll be making the arrest shortly."

"Oh... Thats wonderful... Who is it?" Toiro said nervously.

"We are now certain that the killer was a ninja who goes by the name Rock Lee."

"Oh! Thats a relief!! I'm so glad!" Toiro exclaimed almost jumping from her seat.

Smiling, Dr. Kazamakaku reached for his walkie talkie and spoke softly into it.

"Great news!! My fellow officers have captured the murderer and are performing the execution as we speak!!!1"

"Oh my..."

"Well I know you may need awhile to take all of this in but you may leave now. Thank you for your time." said Dr. Kazamakaku as he stood up to leave.

Toiro was stunned and very confused but she was also happy because she was now free of being accused for a crime.

And to be honest, Toiro didn't even feel any guilt.

Who likes ninjas in green jumpsuits anyways?

Sighing, Toiro walked off to her boulder and fell asleep....


End file.
